Do You Speak This Language?
If you don’t, learn the language to communicate with your inner roommate.
I been going back and forth from my room to the kitchen, to the car, the garage and then laundry.
This was the time when I was in a hurry and was looking back and forth to find my lost car keys.
“Keys, keys, keys” I said to myself, loudly.
I lift up a towel in my bedroom and found my keys.
How many of you have experience this…telling yourself loudly what you want or need or trying to find, and then there it was, the thing you were looking for.
This is backed by science, that telling yourself loudly, the thing you are looking for, in this example keys, is helpful.
The strategy works.
Later, I am going to tell you a story about the choice of words you use, changes the complexion of the game of life.
Let me explain this.
Later.
Meanwhile…
Pink Elephant
On the other hand, telling yourself the negative version of the story above, flips the outcome from north to south.
Have you ever experienced this:
You are in the table enjoying your meal when suddenly, your dad asked you to get the salt from the cabinet. You’re pissed off cause your parents interrupted meal. However, you went to the cabinet, annoyed, telling yourself,
“I don’t know where the salt is,
I don’t know where the salt is”.
You protested, telling your dad, “I don’t know where the salt is”. However, unbeknownst to you, dad is behind you, pointing to the salt,
“What is this?!!?”
Here’s the thing, did you see the salt? You probably did, the brain just didn’t register the salt in the brain, creating a blind spot.
I remember my kid Koji, playing bad in basketball and not hitting his three points. When I asked him, “what was he thinking?” when he was attemting the shot.
He replied, “Don’t miss”.
The problem with the brain is that your brain can’t tell negate a situation. You want proof?
Here’s the challenge: DON’T THINK OF A PINK ELEPHANT.
You notice how hard that is?
— — — — — — — — — —
While scrolling the short videos of YouTube, I came across Steve Harvey explaining how he makes his life way better by changing the way he uses language and communicating to himself.
When he wakes up in the morning, instead of being grumpy and tell himself:
“I have to go to work…”
He says, “I get to go to work”.
The difference? The first one is being grumpy that he needs to go to work. The second one is grateful and appreciative of his work. Millions of people around the globe would love to take your job, gladly, if you don’t want to.
I use this language strategy on how I communicate myself,
A little context, I am a scientist in one of the big University in Florida. It’s not uncommon for me to encounter problems in my experiments. Instead of telling myself “That’s the problem”, I erase that thought and say it loudly, “it’s a technical challenge, but you know you can slay the dragon of technical difficulties.
Having a teenager kid, the struggle in the morning to wake him up is real. But lately, I learned to correct myself of instead of yelling
“We are late!”
I calmly say, “Double time, we are a little bit behind”.
Can you feel the difference?
Same thing with basketball or math in school. I often hear my kid:
“I don’t know how to solve this math problem” or “I don’t know the spin move in basketball”.
I lovingly correct him, saying “You don’t know how to solve the problem, YET” or “You don’t know the spin move in basketball, yet”.
The difference? The first sentences are declarations (feels like, “I suck”). However, the second sentences mean you are in control, you can improve. It means you are not there, yet.
Watch your language
Here’s a little secret. I have a little blue notebook in my pocket. Throughout the day, I write the languages that I use in my mind that are not worthy or just plain declaration of negativity.
The lists grew from a simple, “I can’t do that”, to the complicated “I cannot make boatloads of money” (I don’t remember why I said that).
Today, in addition to watching my inner dialogue with my inner roommate, I have the habit of watching other people language too. In my office, I write these languages into my notebook, reminding me not to use those kinds of words when I communicate with myself.
That’s awareness, the police manning the space of brain that has your thoughts. Simple, I become the gate keeper of mind.
I would say, I have the habit of collecting languages that I use, and other people uses. These are the languages that basically came out from their mind.
One of my favorites is the sarcasm of “Happy Monday”. When people say this to me, the tone is sometimes sarcasm. It sounded like, “I have to go to work, and it’s Monday.”
I usually flip this to, “I get to go to work in this beautiful day!”
The list of disempowering beliefs is getting longer, but I convert these negative languages to empowering languages.
